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lyrics

Yo! I'm rollin' low with my boy bomo,
Going to the dojo, fo' sho', to do judo,
Kicks, flips and throws, your mind blows, it knows,
It's witnessing fitness and quickness in limitless droves,
Immense strength, intense pose,
Bench press bus loads,
Lengths of balancing on one toe with eyes closed,
We're cyclones, side by side we fight foes,
Psychos get a face full of fist, bite those
White knuckles nose buckles and breaks,
Vivid rivers deliver blood cells to red lakes,
Tough justice, roughed up hustlers,
Criminals damaged, capilleries busted,
With minimal strain pain's a powerful defence,
Say "KIAI!"
And bow to the sensei...

'Cause we know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,

We know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,
Stop that you wombat, it's hand to hand combat!

We go out at night time to fight crime,
White suits, black belts, attacked yelps attract help,
From a tag team in Daz cleaned apparel,
We use up bleach each week by the barrel,
'Cause you gotta look sharp if your mind's a razor,
Eyes like a hawk if hawks' eyes were lasers,
Set to stun like Picard sets phazers,
Nipple cripple shock, our knuckles are like tasers,
You intimidate, but mate: it's worthless,
You ain't half as hard as a tarmac surface,
We'll take you down, and make you feel sore,
How you gonna look tough when you're buffing the floor?
Boo hoo! What's the matter? Don't cry!
We're practically pacifists man; you're not gonna die,
We taught you a message the way we meant to,
By using your own brute strength against you,

'Cause we know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,

We know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,
Stop that you wombat, it's hand to hand combat!

It takes mighty practice,
We make it look effortless but in actual fact it's feigned,
See we trained for years on a mattress,
Misplaced backflips, cracked ribs and fat lips,
Now we've mastered the art of defence,
Will we kick your arse first or last? Well it depends,
Can you give us a few pounds and fifty pence,
See we need a night cap, fights make chaps tense,
When we hit on the nights ninth ippon
We gasp for a full wine glass to sip on,
And get your bib on, it's gonna be large,
And if the bar keep makes the fee no charge
I'll have a glass of the pinot noir,
Get me a glass of the pinot noir,
Another glass of the pinot noir!
Sleep, eat lunch have a coffee and we're off again,

Yo! I'm rollin' low with my boy bomo,
Going to the dojo, fo' sho', to do judo,
Kicks, flips and throws, your mind blows, it knows,
It's witnessing fitness and quickness in limitless droves,
Immense strength, intense pose,
Bench press bus loads,
Lengths of balancing on one toe with eyes closed,
We're cyclones, side by side we fight foes,
Psychos get a face full of fist, bite those
White knuckles nose buckles and breaks,
Vivid rivers deliver blood cells to red lakes,
Tough justice, roughed up hustlers,
Criminals damaged, capilleries busted,
With minimal strain pain's a powerful defence,
Say "KIAI!"
And bow to the sensei...

'Cause we know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,

We know judo - You! No grabbin' me,
Attempts to defend will end in tragedy,
Feel no pain, then again who's stabbin me,
Stop that you wombat, it's hand to hand combat!

Get on that hand to hand combat.

credits

from Smells Like Rap, released October 21, 2009

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about

Simon Panrucker Bristol, UK

When not writing songs for Cartoon Network's Clarence, Simon explodes novelty rap and turbo pop from his funglands for the absolute pleasure or total dismay of all and sundry.

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