/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      £0.70 GBP  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a gatefold card case with artwork by WeThreeClub. I WILL SIGN THIS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT! Please specify if you'd like me to when you order it, otherwise I'll leave it beautifully bare.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Hello My Name Is Simon Panrucker via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days

      £10 GBP or more 

     

lyrics

I was born with a silver spoon in every orifice
Breast fed by the best breasts my oesophagus wails
Seconds split and I'm sucking on the nip
Of a well bred babe with a stiff upper lip
Coz I bite when I'm teething, pleased to be teasing
The milk of a model fed silk tray daily
Mother won't play but the nurse is available
Hat drop snack stop her baps are incredible

And my cot's got a solid gold frame
With a headboard shaped like a lion's mane
And my dummy is a diamond shame I keep dropping it
Drains get the plop of it but I just get another one
Coz I was born as the son of one Queen
But she died in child birth so now I'm on the scene
As the miniature monarch and I just wanna have a wee
Coz I'm sitting on the throne and I'm only three

It's been an hour, now I need a power sleep
Get Shakespeare here to read aloud to me
And stop offering to rule while I nap please
You're only in charge of changing my nappies
I want a tiger to ride inside the halls
Bear cubs clubbed for their hide and balls
To make a cape and a necklace, I'm reckless fools
I'm a tyrannical toddler, I make the rules, yeah!

I've got sovereigns, dribbling offa me
Snotty snout, rattle out, lower lip wobbly
If luxuries lack I just order things
Yeah life's a corker when you're born a king, come on
All you grovelling, snivelling minions
Get your mitts offa my many millions
They clamour for the crown when they've never worn the thing
Coz life's a corker when you're born a king

My advisor's a poohead, he's always saying
That I'm too young to rule yet I should be playing
And I should give him the hat that's a hassle on my head
And let him run the country instead
But I say: Shut up poopoo, you're a willy man
With a poo for a tongue and the biggest bum in England
I am the king and never might share
It's my hat, my house, and my nice chair

I'm scared of the dark so no more night
Now everybody works from sundown to daylight
And sleeps in the morning, just one more thing
I'm making it illegal to be seen yawning
I'll plunge you in a dungeon to stay there
Til you're withered like a willow and you've got grey hair
I'll visit you when I feel like some fun
And kick you in the willy and stick chillies up your bum bum

And if you've got a mum then you've got a problem
Coz I haven't got one, so I'm gonna rob them
Out of malice, and they'll all live in my palace
With their bras off while I quaff pop from a chalice
I'll shut my eyes as their lullabies soothe me
Scuse me a minute while I suckle on their boobies
I want a cloud made of candyfloss
Don't say I can't coz I can, coz I am the boss
Yeah!


I've got sovereigns, dribbling offa me
Snotty snout, rattle out, lower lip wobbly
If luxuries lack I just order things
Yeah life's a corker when you're born a king, come on
All you grovelling, snivelling minions
Get your mitts offa my many millions
They clamour for the crown when they've never worn the thing
Coz life's a corker when you're born a king

I want a bike with a thousand wheels
I want that weird looking man to be drowned with eels
I want a cake made of icing with chocolate plates
I want a beehive smashed in an elephant's face
I want a lemonade lake and a soft play palace
I want all the rats packed off Paris
The king's will is final, it's undisputed
So do it soon or you'll be executed!

credits

from Hello My Name Is Simon Panrucker, released November 5, 2014
Uses this freesound.org sound:

marvman - tambourine 2

tags

license

about

Simon Panrucker Bristol, UK

When not writing songs for Cartoon Network's Clarence, Simon explodes novelty rap and turbo pop from his funglands for the absolute pleasure or total dismay of all and sundry.

contact / help

Contact Simon Panrucker

Streaming and
Download help