Leave My Nuts Alone

from Happy Christmas, You Guys! by Simon Panrucker

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lyrics

Every year on christmas night,
I give my nuts a check,
I handle them so carefully,

This year I got quite a fright,
When I was mid inspect,
Oh it upset me terribly,

To my dismay it seems something ain't right,
It looks like someone's come and had a bite,
I don't know what to do,
I wish my nuts were left unchewed,
I'm angry and confused,

I don't think I would mind so much,
If they had asked me first,
But I gave no such consent!

They could have had a little touch,
But this is so much worse,
I've never been in such torment!

Why couldn't they have left my nuts alone,
Now they've been munched all I can do is moan,
I'll have to live without,
But I would have loved to crack one out,
Now I just want to shout,

Who's been gobbling my nuts?
Who's been gobbling my nuts?
Leave my nuts alone!
Leave my nuts alone!

Won't you leave my nuts in peace?
Please leave my nuts in peace!
Please don't leave my nuts in pieces!

Leave my nuts alone!